Why I wrote this book

One September afternoon, the pain from an intense and unrelenting headache got so bad that I went to the emergency room to try to find out what was wrong.

After receiving a CAT scan the ER doctor entered the room and said, “I have bad news.” The scan had revealed a tumor in my brain, and we later learned it was an aggressive form of brain cancer called grade IV glioblastoma. The median survival rate is 18 months. 

September 11, 2022 marked the milestone of six years of survival since the discovery of my tumor. 

These essays are my way of chronicling my journey with cancer. With them, I hope to offer insight to both my experience living with glioblastoma as well as how I have learned to cope and even thrive since my diagnosis. I credit my neuro-oncologist, Dr. Jenny Clarke, and the extraordinary medical team at the University of California San Francisco’s Brain Tumor Center for devising and overseeing a treatment program that included surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, immunotherapy, and physical rehabilitation for my survival success so far. I also share reflections on how therapy and meditation have helped me cope. 

Woven within these pages are the love and support I have received from my husband, family, friends, and other loved ones. And while external factors have definitely helped support me through these years, I also honor the importance of the various “internal” tools I have used to tap into my own inner strength to overcome my fears—from fear of needles to fear of being emotionally overwhelmed to fear of dying—that I most want to share with readers, especially those who may have recently received similar “bad news.” 

I offer up my story with the intention of helping others feel less alone. I am not sharing my story because I think I have some answer or path that helped me work through how painful this situation is. I don’t have an answer. But I do hope there is something in my story that some people might find relevant or helpful to their own situations.